As he journeyed to Horeb/Sinai, Elijah had time to think, ponder, appraise, and evaluate the circumstances that led him to abandon his ministry and left him afoot in a desolate land. Indeed, the environment paralleled his thoughts: barren hills his dark contemplation; sterile expanses stretching beyond sight his inability to find answers for his desertion of duty; the desiccated shrubs symbolizing his sudden spiritual drought; the few scant waterholes haunting reminders of better days when God provided him food and drink in the Kerith Ravine.
A congeries of contradictions struggled for control of his mind. He could admit in the desert that the self-preservation so domineering in Jezreel had been body-slammed by his greater commitment to God, whatever the danger. But he couldn’t forget that all his work for God against Baal had only superficially succeeded, for all the drama on the mountain, for all the confession of God’s Dominance, not resulting in real change. His optimism reminded him that he had killed those imposters of Jezebel; his pessimism answered that she would likely replace them all, perhaps man-for-man I Kings 22:6. And what permanent harm would befall Baal worship so long as his patroness remained alive? What had really been gained for God, it added? His self-loathing increased as he neared the fabled mountain fortress and sought a cave big enough to sleep in with an aperture small enough to hide in safety. What did it all mean, his pessimism continued hounding him as he sat or lay, seeking the spiritual peace eluding him. What result did it have? Great rejoicing followed by greater grief. (He didn’t know that would be the “greatest-danger syndrome”—the greater success experienced leaving one vulnerable to even greater despair.) Another blog will study God’s appearance to Elijah. This one focuses on the decision Elijah made when arriving at Beersheba after fleeing the Queen. “I have had enough, Lord...Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors” I Kings 19:4. What the prophet said in I Kings 19:10 and 14, reflected his decision at Beersheba. Understand his pathos in both places, the second based on the first. In Matthew 13:7 and 22 Jesus said that the thorny-soil person readily accepted the Gospel, but retained equal interest in other things, summarized as the worries of this life, and the deceitfulness of wealth. They choke the seed, making it unfruitful. That means the thorny-soil person has purposes apart from serving God that invariably become equal to serving God, then more important than serving God. Thus, if they don’t have God, their other interests compensate. Elijah suffered no admixture of purposes in his life. It wasn’t God AND.... For him life meant GOD ALONE...nothing else and no one else. And if he had no further use to God—and he felt he DIDN’T, he may as well die. How many of us, Christians, have such dedication to God? How many times have we said to God, “I have no purpose for my life, and use for my life, except as your servant?” We will understand Elijah’s lament only when we do. End Part V
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